To Enlightened Assholes Everywhere:

Two instances occurred today practically simultaneously that really got my blood boiling. One was probably spurred by the other, and I fully acknowledge that neither was directed at me, just merely around me. Notwithstanding, people experience environmental stress all the time that is completely unintentional, and this was certainly that today.

Both of these occurred while I was sneaking in a quick lunch on campus today in the hour between my discussion sections and office hours. At the table to my right, I overheard an exchange between an Evangelical Christian and another student. I hadn't run into this girl before, but I had been proselytized in the same café by someone else from (I'm guessing) her same church group. And I'll be honest, even though I myself am a very strong Catholic-Christian, I found myself inwardly rolling my eyes at the presentation they give because it was simply them reading aloud to you from a cheesily-worded pamphlet. And as a Christian, I obviously to a general extent agree with what is in the pamphlet, but it's really not as compelling of an argument as they think it is, no matter how sincere they are. But I was polite, and let her do her thing when she asked me, and when it was done she just walked away and I finished eating. Well. The person I was overhearing today clearly only said yes to letting this girl do her presentation in order to argue with her! I'm not sure if Miss Evangelist (as I will call her, since I don't know anyone's names) was really that thick or if she just figured she'd plow ahead since she was already invested, but she just didn't seem to be getting the hint that this girl was mocking her the entire time!

Now, I may be weird, but if I don't care for something someone has to say--if I 100% disagree and couldn't care less--I don't agree to let people give me presentations on whatever it is. In fact, I'm the type of person who avoids topics that get me upset. At the very least, I don't seek out or allow people who espouse views I don't agree with to preach to me just so I can ridicule them to their faces. That seems, I don't know, a little hateful and unnecessary to me. And Miss Evangelized (again, I don't know names) definitely had the option of telling her to go away--like the Jehova's Witnesses, Miss Evangelist was very up front about what she was going to do, and Miss Evangelized chose to do her presentation. I allow that it would be a different thing if Miss Evangelized had said no and told her to leave, but Miss Evangelist just kept going at her, but that's not what happened. And she was just being so snotty about telling her she doesn't have a religion! If you feel that strongly about it, why did you let her sit down? That doesn't make sense to me!

The second incident was more insidious, and was probably brought on by overhearing the same exchange that I was. The people at the table sitting behind me suddenly started discussing religion once the evangelization session was over that actually made me lose my appetite. I had literally nothing to eat all day--I was up at 7 AM, and it was after 1 PM when this happened--and I had only eaten half of half a sandwich that I just bought, and I was so disgusted that I couldn't eat anymore. This table very loudly started slamming Catholicism, which of course would touch a nerve in me as a Catholic, but even more so because it sounded like they were those Enlightened people who firmly believed that the Da Vinci Code's version of Catholicism was completely accurate. I paraphrase here, but I definitely heard the most vocal one talking about how he'd love to see the Vatican just blow up one day, and all the Catholics would be so sure that God would strike everyone down, and then they'd be such fools because nothing would happen. No shit, sir--It's a building! A highly symbolic building filled with priceless art and relics of the saints, yes, but a building nonetheless! Would your faith in American democracy die if the White House suddenly blew up? NO! In fact, I think you would be hard-pressed to find a circumstance in which such an occurrence would actually not strengthen your patriotism and belief in democracy! I mean, seriously, where does this come from that Catholics believe in the power of a building? I have other non-Catholic friends (who at least were not as snotty about it) who thought the same thing! Come on!

But it gets worse. Because you see it wasn't enough that this table was insulting our beliefs; they had to get personal on all Catholics and all Christians in general whom they didn't even know. The conversation took a turn to complete incredulity that anyone could ever believe in religion at all, and at how devious really such belief was. I think I just found some disciples of Bill Maher is all, because they were repeating almost verbatim exactly what he said in his documentary Religulous...How religious belief is such a convenient comfort to people in hard times, but it really doesn't add up to much. I think I remember what they were saying almost exactly here: "Whoever came up with 'God works in mysterious ways' is really just ingenius. Because then they just have an answer for everything." But I've dealt with people who think like this before, and when you say that you think God has a plan, their automatic response is, "No, there is no plan, everything is random"--doesn't that also qualify as a convenient answer for everything? Or is it okay to have a so-called catch-all answer as long as it's not religiously tinged?

Then they were going on in their righteous anger about how annoying it is when they hear actors in awards' speeches thanking God. "Why the hell would you thank God for that? You have talent...What does God have to do with that?" Yet if you heard someone thanking a teacher for endowing them with knowledge, there's never a question why you are thanking the teacher; it's something that you have now, and someone else gave it to you. So how is that different from thanking what you believe is the source of your talent? If you believe your mother is the source of your talent, thank your mother, and if you believe God is, thank God. I understand this necessitates acknowledging that a belief in God in general is a valid thing, but I am merely answering the simple question of why an actor or actress would thank God in their awards speech.

But the part where I had to leave because I was so disgusted--and because I realized I was unnecessarily torturing myself since I didn't have to sit there (See? I extract myself from situations that I know will make me angry!)--was when Mr. Super Vocal said, "I guess it's fine to use the moral principle to guide your life, but how can you possibly believe any of the actual religion stuff? The moment someone says they believe in religion, they are automatically less intelligent." So I left. Why start a shouting match that would lead to nowhere? Why subject myself to irritation if I'm not forced to be in that place at that time?

Some might ask why I didn't bother to speak up and defend myself and Christendom. A valid question. However, if you're familiar with the phrase, "You can't teach taste to people who don't have it," you'll understand why. If you're trying to talk to someone about religion who is so antagonistic to even the concept of religion that they get personal and insulting on the first punch, you're not going to be able to explain your point of view to them no matter how well-thought out and prepared your argument is. Because he/she will just take the same track that Bill Maher does in Religulous and just say, "No, it doesn't" to everything you say in favor of religion--because obviously a simple statement of negation said authoritatively and disdainfully enough automatically disqualifies any argument ever.

And may I just say, Mr. Super Vocal--and I can because this is my blog, and you are free to contradict me as much as you like in yours--that what you said is incredibly hateful and closed-minded. Even Albert Einstein, who is widely acknowledged as one of the greatest scientific thinkers of all time, did not completely discount religious belief and a belief in God. He did not call himself religious, and in fact said many things about religion that I disagree with, but if even he feels like there is room for science and religious thought to coexist peacefully and--dare I say it--to have some value, that is awfully high-minded and egotistical of you to say he is "automatically less intelligent."

And also, I am so sorry that my inability to see existence and humanity as a meaningless and ultimately random occurrence is so offensive to you! And now I suppose is the point where, if we were face to face, we'd each start preparing our own philosophical arguments for an epic battle of -isms, but I'm not even going to bother because what is the use of one-sided debate? So all I can ask is this: Please don't be judgmental. That word tends to be applied by atheists towards religious believers, but atheists and agnostics can be just as judgmental and dismissive as your average religious nut. On the assumption that you are not currently being assaulted in some fashion by a religious fanatic at the time, can you please just keep your voice down? You never know whose lunch you are ruining, and chances are that person has not actively done anything to harm you. Thanks.

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