Things People Do When They Think They're Being (___)--But They're Just Being Awkward

(Note: Not ALL of these come from personal experiences! Some of them, yes, but others happened to other people I know. And, no, I will not clarify if asked. :-P)

• Funny: A poorly placed "That's what she said." It's really hard to misuse "That's what she said incorrectly"--seriously, I've made many seemingly innocuous things sound really dirty with that--but there really are a few situations where it just won't make sense. In these cases, then the speaker will be cracking up to him or herself, thinking they just told a really clever dirty joke, and you're there with this bewildered look on your face, and it's just awkward.
• Considerate: This one's kind of specific, but it's really funny, just because it's me and Steve. So he was flown out here to LA this past week by a company for an interview (because he's one of those bastards who has a useful major that gets job interviews--yes, I swear I'm dating him :-P), and I of course went to meet him at the airport and helped him check into the hotel that the company also provided for him (jerk). Mind you, the hotel reservation is only for 1 person--and, even if you didn't know how I am and that I wouldn't stay there, the fact that it's clearly on a company's tab would probably tip you off that only 1 person is staying in the room. Anyway, the clerk, seeing me there with Steve, thought he was just helping a dude out and slips him 2 room keys. Yeah. That was awkward.
• Macho: Acting like the über-alpha male to a non-receptive female. It also makes one look like a failed chauvinist, btw. This one is simultaneously awkward and hilarious, actually--not all these circumstances are. Seriously, if you've ever seen a dude try to be like, "Do this, come here, do that!" and the girl's just like, "Uh, no..."--it's rather hysterically awkward.
• Intellectual: Misquoting some obscure information either while trying to show off how smart you are or while trying to correct someone. This is only awkward if they're talking to someone who knows that particular topic rather well; how awkward can it be if you insist that 2 plus 2 equals to someone who can't add? But I'm not merely talking about someone who just doesn't realize they were at some point misinformed; I'm talking about the people who, no matter what, will insist that whatever they were told is right when you (or that knowledgeable person) can clearly prove you are an imbecile. I think we've all been on one of the ends of this situation at some point--admit it! We don't judge here...
• Smooth: Calling a girl by the wrong name. Enough said.
• Pious: After delivering a stern lecture as to why you are heathens, declaring that he/she will pray for you so that Jesus won't damn you to Hell. No matter how much he/she thinks you deserve it, there's just no situation where that won't be awkward. Not to mention infuriating, because then he/she feels like he/she is up on the moral pedestal and is only condescending in a pious gesture to save your immortal soul. *Sigh*

That's all I've got for now. I'll come up with more later.

~The Original Fong~
**You wish you could pull off being me**

Reactions: